Wholistic health and wellness have always been a preferred practice for me. I refuse prescriptions and constantly battle my MD that there must be an underlying cause for my troubles of the day that could be treated without covering up symptoms but actually healing them. This I believe true for mind, body, and spirit. I have abused the three components of my being for many years. I have always had a vision of myself and the person I wanted to become but often denied myself that vision out of fear. Fear that I was not good enough, Fear of judgment, Fear of disappointing everyone who had some other expectation of what I should be.
How crazy is it to fear your own ability and to suppress your own growth and development for ego. I am known as a dedicated hard worker, what people in my past often did not see, is that the dedication to go above and beyond for others was in a way me hiding from myself, my life, and where I was in my life because of choices and relationships had made for myself.
Looking back I do not regret the choices I made as I learned a lot about myself the world and humanity. I forgive myself for the consequences of some of those choices whether it sent me in a direction which was undesirable or gained or lost certain relationships. One Motto I live by is No regrets, No shame. Lots of people in my life and some of them the closest to me hold themselves back because of shame from life decisions or not wanting to explain the past to the present. The unnecessary worries prevent true happiness and no matter what you think you are doing to be happy, if you cant forgive yourself and take pride in the person you have become none of the things you do will matter in my opinion whether it’s counseling, medication, getting active, arts, therapy. Learning to let go is one of the hardest lessons. I enjoy reflecting on my past and being able to pull out and identify lessons. I walk away from every situation, relationship, partnership, career, personal choice with a clearer understanding of myself, my missions, goals, and soul.
For years I always put satisfying everyone else before myself. This is not a bad thing, but an unhealthy unsustainable way to live. I often silently suffered alone from depression and burn out.
For years I always put satisfying everyone else before myself. This is not a bad thing, but an unhealthy unsustainable way to live. I often silently suffered alone from depression and burn out. I am still really learning to wrap my head around the concept of “take care of yourself first or there won’t be a you to take care of others” as my momma puts it when I call her for moral support to talk me off a ledge during a period of extreme burnout.
When I think of all the things I have said I will do or stop doing to become the person I aspired to be, that list kept growing. Things like quit smoking, go on a trip, learn an instrument, play a sport, get fit and feel physically and mentally strong, write more share educate and inspire. My main position in my career has always been to be a leader and role model and where I feel I lacked in the past is inspiring people to not only work with integrity but also be true to themselves and care for themselves while doing it.
I aspire to be a truly positive and inspirational leader in a world that is often filled with negativity, complacency, fear, and ego. My celiac diagnosis really catapulted me forward into caring for myself and my journey to wholistic wellness of the mind body and spirit. As I work to manifest the reality I desire, I often remind myself that what a person desires often changes as we learn new lessons about our selves, our world and our reality. Every small choice I make add up, compounded these choices will lead me to the person I want to become as I continue to focus on my personal growth and development.
A longtime top of the buck list items to becoming me was quit smoking. I was always an outdoors person, an environmental and social activist. So why was I smoking it was against everything I believed in. Now that I have stopped smoking this has even further directed me towards completing tasks to become the best new version of me. Now that I have been smoke free for many month I am able to breathe and no longer able to use “I am a smoker” as an excuse to be active and take better care of my body. I have partnered with a personal trainer to push my limits further and see what else I am capable of. People think that because I am small I am fit. This is not the case at all. Celiac also goes hand in hand with thyroid problems which can lead to weight gain and loss. Being slim does not translate to fit. I could barely run to the end of the driveway without feeling like I was going to die on spot. This is not my before shots this is my current status, my starting point to the future. Join me as I become a fitness explorer trying all the things that are new to me and deciding which are right for me and are not.